


Stranger

by icedteainthebag



Series: Stranger [1]
Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2015-10-05
Packaged: 2018-04-25 00:09:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4939216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icedteainthebag/pseuds/icedteainthebag
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mulder has issues with the depth of his relationship with Scully.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stranger

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published to my old fic site on Dec. 20, 1999.
> 
> This is dedicated to Susan, who is always willing to be depressing with me.

***************************************

"I went out a wandering  
Beneath an unknown sky  
The heavens all shook violently  
He caught my eye  
Strange fruit fell  
It struck me to the core  
My heart became a single flame  
It wanted nothing more  
Stranger, enter from the East  
Stranger, step inside this place  
Oh, and own me… own me."

\- Jewel, Enter from the East

***************************************

Exhaustion saturated the end of another long day for her. A lot of walking, a lot of talking but more listening and nodding, especially at her annual merit review with Skinner. The meeting had left her frustrated; it was hard to establish goals for this stretch of her "employee life cycle" when the true purpose of her employment in the X-Files was so clouded, so up in the air. Arguing that her job was necessary out of claims that it was economically feasible for the FBI to employ her strictly to give a scientific spin to Mulder’s theories was just about as difficult as trying to convince her mother that atheism was necessary to balance out right-wing religious conservatives.

However, Skinner had seemed nonchalant at her musings and had ended the meeting rather quickly.

"Keep it up, Agent Scully," he had said as he walked her out. She had given him a small forced smile, expecting a little more reward for her efforts but taking what she could get.

She rode the elevator down to the basement with her eyes closed and her arms folded across her waist. It stopped and she pushed herself off of the wall, walking toward the door as it opened.

"Hey, stranger."

She simply raised her eyebrows at Mulder, who stood in front of her with a lopsided smile on his face. He was on his way home; his trenchcoat was hanging on his lanky frame, wrinkled from the day it spent in a pile on the office floor. Pushing past him, she felt his hand on her shoulder and looked up at him again.

"What?" she asked faintly. "Oh…have a good weekend."

"You look like death warmed over, Scully," Mulder said, turning to face her. "How did it go?"

She sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. "It went well. Business as usual. ‘Keep it up.’"

He squeezed her shoulder, tilting his head to the side. "That’s funny; he always tells me to keep it down." The elevator doors began to close and he stuck his hand in it, trying to stop it before it closed and failing. He snatched his hand away just before it got lodged between them. "That is a lawsuit waiting to happen."

Scully smiled a little, lifting her tired eyes to meet his. "I’m just tired, Mulder. I’m on my way out too." She turned and began walking down the hall.

"Good, then I’ll wait," he said, striding quickly to catch up with her. "I’ll walk you out."

She gave him a quizzical look before entering the office. "Okay… whatever you want."

"Really?" he asked, his smile turning into a grin.

She rolled her eyes and put on her coat, picked up her briefcase and walked past him yet again. "Let’s go. I want to get home before traffic gets too bad."

"Traffic… is bad," he repeated with a small laugh, following her out the door.

"That’s what I said," she answered with a sigh. They rode the elevator in silence. Scully rubbed her cheeks with cool hands as Mulder watched her, looking rather content making sure she was all right.

"I don’t see why you’re so worried about me," she finally said as they entered the parking garage. "I’m fine. I’ve just had a really hard day."

He put his arm around her shoulders and she tensed up a little and relaxed, feeling warm under his touch. "I just want to make sure you make it home all right."

Scully smiled as they approached her car. She hit the autostart button on her keychain and Mulder jumped slightly. "What are you going to do, follow me home?"

"How did you guess?" he answered with an arched eyebrow. She turned and looked at him in astonishment, her hands on her hips.

"You’ve got to be kidding me."

"Nope," he said, pulling his keys out of his pocket. "Listen, I’m going to run to my car and I’ll get right behind you at the gate. Don’t leave without me, or else I’ll just come right after you and then you’ll have some explaining to do, young lady."

She sighed, though she felt herself encouraged at the thought of Mulder caring so much about her welfare. Of course, he always seemed to care, but some times were just more prominent than others. It made her feel a little special. "I guess. But I warn you now, you can’t complain about my driving when we get back to the apartment."

"It’s a deal," he said, squeezing her shoulder. "Wouldn’t want to get on Scully’s bad side—that’s a scary thought."

She laughed and shrugged away from him, walking to the other side of the car. He watched her for a moment before retreating to his own.

**********

Despite her protests, Mulder had parked his car down the street and jogged up to the outside stairs of her apartment building, demanding that it was his responsibility to make sure she got to the apartment in one piece.

She keyed in and he stayed by her, insisting that he accompany her inside the apartment as well. Scully looked at him curiously, blushing a little at the slight state of upheaval her living room seemed to be in, but then remembered that Mulder probably didn’t care much about aesthetics.

"Really, Mulder… I’m just tired," she said, sighing and kicking off her shoes as he hung up her coat. "You can go. Really."

"Scully, I don’t want to go." Mulder looked quickly up at her and then away. She tried not to look surprised as he set her briefcase down on the kitchen table. "I mean, it’s okay."

She closed her eyes, rubbing her temples and sitting down on a chair. She felt him pull on her arm and she looked up at him expectantly. "What?"

"Come on, Scully. I’ll put you to bed," he said softly, pressing the back of his palm against her forehead. She breathed out, slightly exasperated as she stood up. Exasperated, exhausted… but excited, she thought. She shunned herself for thinking such things in front of him.

"I’m not sick," she managed to argue as he led her to her room. "I’m fine. Go, Mulder. Go home."

"You need rest, and the only way you’re going to do it is if I’m here forcing it on you," he replied, leading her to the bedside. "Do you need to put pajamas on?"

"No," she answered quickly, blushing. "I’ll sleep in this." With that, she lay on top of her comforter, stretching out on her back with her arms at her sides.

Mulder examined her with a pensive look on his face. "You don’t look very comfortable."

"I am, Mulder. I’m about ready to fall asleep." _I’m lying, but he doesn’t know that_ , she thought with a small smile. She closed her eyes and tried to calm the excitement she felt building inside of her.

"Okay," he finally said, bending down and kissing her forehead. It left a stinging warmth beneath her skin. She could sense him hovering over her face as he ran a few fingers through her hair, brushing them against her ear.

 _Don’t open your eyes_ , she thought as she breathed in deeply, _don’t do it, Dana_.

She did it.

Scully looked straight into his eyes; his face was barely a foot away as he leaned over her body. She parted her lips to speak but no words came out. He blinked several times, looking a bit confused about what step to take. _Come on, Mulder_ , Scully thought. _You can do it, you’re a big boy now._

Finally, Mulder lifted his head and sat down on the bed next to her. She felt a little disappointed as she rolled toward him gently, the bed bending under his weight. "Maybe I should stay to make sure you’re all right."

"I’m fine," she repeated, sitting up. Her chest brushed against the side of his arm and he turned his head, looking into her eyes again. "You can go."

"Are you sure?" he asked, his gaze unrelenting.

She nodded, leaning in a little more, unable to stop herself. Her face was now close to his as she swallowed a lump in her throat.

"I’m fine," she whispered, pressing her lips against his. She felt them get hot against his soft flesh, blood rushing to every part of her body.

His lips remained motionless for a few seconds as she watched him close his eyes before closing hers as well. Then he nudged his mouth against hers and she responded, taking his lower lip into her mouth and sucking it once before pulling away.

Mulder put his hand on the back of her head and pulled her back toward him, opening his mouth and kissing her harder. Her tongue flicked out and she jumped slightly at the warm, wet texture of his as it stroked and rolled around her mouth.

And then he was pushing her down to the pillow, gently, their kiss never stopping. His fingers slid across her cheek and her jaw as he pulled his mouth away from hers at last.

Scully opened her eyes and found him staring at her. His was a look not of careless abandon, but of concern and uncertainty.

"Scully, I…"

"Mulder," she breathed, bringing her hands up through the back of his hair and pulling his face down. "I need you."

"You don’t need me," he whispered against her lips. She pressed her lips harder against his, desperately seeking a response as she felt small tears sting her eyes.

"Please," she begged, feeling the desire normally buried deep inside her belly spread throughout her torso, her limbs and her head. She felt ashamed for begging him but couldn’t stop herself. "Please Mulder… love me."

"God… I love you, Scully," he told her, his voice choking a bit. His eyes shifted to the pillow beside her head, glassy as a tear landed on her cheek.

"Mulder… love me," she repeated in a murmur softer than a whisper. Her hand swept across his cheek, wiping away the trail of his departed tear.

He kissed her.

**********

Scully woke up in the darkness at three in the morning. Her naked body was aching and sticky with sweat, the evidence of what had only been fantasy hours before. She stretched, rubbing her legs together under the warm sheets with a little smile and a sigh.

She turned to where Mulder had been sleeping and opened her eyes to an empty space beside her. Her smile turned into a frown as she rubbed the soft imprint his body had made upon the mattress. Hearing the toilet flush induced a flood of relief over her; he wasn’t gone, just missing in action.

She stayed on her side, waiting for him to lay back down. She heard him walk out of the bathroom and then heard a rustle of fabric.

"Mulder?" she called softly, feeling cool air rush against her back as he walked past. Turning and scooting up the headboard with the cover around her, she narrowed her eyes in the darkness and realized that he was already dressed. He didn’t seem to hear her; he was seated in her rocking chair in the corner of the bedroom, tying his shoes.

"Mulder." She said it a little louder and he took his time looking up in her general direction. He glanced at her and looked away, standing up and walking slowly to the middle of the room. "Come closer, I won’t bite."

He stopped about two feet from the bed with his head lowered. His eyes lingered on the soft outline of her legs under the green cotton sheets. She frowned again, her brow furrowing as she examined his face.

"Scully," he started, letting his voice fade as he fiddled with his keys in his right pants pocket.

"What?" she asked, tightening the covers around her. "Come lay down, Mulder."

He shook his head, and she felt a tingle go down her spine. "I can’t."

"What do you mean, you can’t?"

"I can’t lay down." He pushed both of his hands deeper into his pockets and breathed deeply. "Scully, I can’t do this."

Her lips parted slightly as a rush of panic overwhelmed her. "What?"

Taking his right hand out of his pocket, he waved it around gently, motioning up and down the bed. "This. I… I can’t do this, Scully."

His head dropped even more, his face dropping below sagging shoulders. She stared at the top of his head, tears aching for release. "Ah… um…"

She heard him release a shaky breath as he looked up with an anguished expression. "Scully, I knew it. I knew this would change things."

"Wait, wait," she said, her mind frantically searching for words. "What’s changed? I don’t understand. What’s changed?"

"Don’t you see, Scully?" he said with another deep breath, running his hands through his hair and folding them in front of him. "Everything’s different now…"

"Mulder…"

"…everything’s fucked up."

His words seemed to echo in the silence that followed. She gasped softly, her mouth falling open. She felt her lip tremble as a single tear ran down her cheek.

A shaky breath to compose herself did nothing for her injured esteem. Mulder stood frozen, his face showing a bit of shock at what he said.

"Then… then leave then," Scully whispered, kneading her hands in her lap. "If you need to leave, then leave."

He closed his eyes, tears escaping his creased eyelids. He clenched his fists and released them before turning around to pick up his coat, slowly putting it on.

Releasing a small sob, she wiped her eyes and watched as he stood up straight. He paused and then walked toward the bedroom door.

"Mul… Mulder, wait, wait," she croaked through buried sobs. "Wait…"

He walked out. Her body started to shake as the pressure inside her grew. _I can’t cry… I won’t cry. He won’t see me cry._

She only allowed herself the luxury of emotional release at the slam of her apartment door. She sobbed quietly, tears of disbelief sliding down her cheeks and dripping off of her jaw onto her chest. She clamored out of bed and walked to the door naked. Leaning against it, she felt the cool wood against her flush cheek as she turned the deadbolt with a whimper.

**********

Mulder leaned his back against the door of her apartment, trying to calm himself down in the hallway before leaving the building. He covered his face with his hands, breathing a heavy sigh and gritting his teeth. His discomfort at the situation began to fade, though he felt like hell for leaving her alone. But I can’t handle it, he thought, biting his lower lip hard, _I can’t handle how I feel about her now. This isn’t the best thing for us. Not now._

He pushed himself off of the door and walked down the hallway. At the end, he looked over his shoulder with his hand on the wall, staring back it wistfully. _I should go back… she’s hurt… I hurt her…_

_But she probably doesn’t want to see me right now._

Mulder turned and left.


End file.
